Costume

Someone's ready for All Hallow's Eve!

And guess what I'ma be?

Candy

We took a random, spur-of-the-moment shopping trip to get Halloween supplies.

Not for us, no, for Halloween!

The most important of which is obviously candy!

30 Before 30 - Check in #2

Here's my original list, and my last check in! As I creep every closer to birthday #28, let's see how things are coming along!

1. Get married. As I've mentioned before, this is done! Although I still haven't had a wedding, it is now planned for next April, so I still hit it before the 30 mark. We have reserved a venue and a photographer and everything!
2. Have a kid. We want to wait til after the wedding, mostly because I already have a dress that I definitely wouldn't fit into preggo, but also because I plan on switching jobs/moving after the spring semester and it'd be nice to be settled a little before bringing a little one around. Nevertheless, I'm confident we'll hit this goal.
3. Sell my crafts. Didn't I mention the last time about how I sold a cake? I'm calling this one DONE, although I will always continue to craft (and therefore hopefully continue to sell to some small degree).
4. Learn to sew. I've repaired some things myself, but this is going on the list for winter break. Gonna watch some youtube lessons.
5. Learn more about my car. I actually feel pretty good about this and am calling it DONE... for my current vehicle. I've gotten several diagnoses correct in the past and know how to check all the fluid levels (and replenish them), etc. Plus, Husband is a good back-up in this area. 
6. Own a newer car. Another reason we're waiting a little bit on kids. I definitely want something safer/more reliable before I start carting around an infant in it. My next car will be my kids' car so I'm planning according. Hopefully I can do this sometime in 2016. WE HAVE A PLAN I SWEAR!
7. Stop renting. I mean, we're not I technically renting even now, but we also don't own the place. This is another one I'd like to check off before having kids (though not necessarily before getting pregnant) so we're looking at 2016 sometime for home-ownership also. It'll all depend on how the job situation plays out. Once I get my CCCs in January, I anticipate (and really hope) that a lot of this will get a little easier to pull together. 
8. Get a pet (or pets). We now have a Moose and an Echo! DONE!

   

   Look how good they are!

9. Blog. CHECK! DONE! I know I'm not super consistent, but I always come back eventually!
10. Keep a journal regularly. Much like the blog, I'm not super consistent, but I am doing it!
11. Write every day. I'm hoping to do NaNoWriMo this year, but given my recent mental health problems, that might be putting too much stress on myself. Still, I definitely write some every day, so although the goal is sort of a life-long ongoing thing, I'm checking it off as DONE.
12. Finish a book. NaNoWriMo! It doesn't have to be good, it just has to be done! I might postpone until next year, but if we're buying a house/car or having a kid, I doubt things will be less hectic so I'm going to take a stab at it this time and see what happens.
13. Read the Bible. Kinda forgot... hello resolution 2016! Lots of lists out there for getting it done in year!
14. Create art. Definitely still leaning toward painting, but I might need to call this one off. I have so much going on, and honestly, if I never do it, I think I'd be fine with that. Of course, I could also do one of those paint and wine nights!
15. Start a bonsai. I started a vegetable garden this year, that counts, right? SIGH, I'll do it. 
16. Get close to someone. Making some progress. The first step, and one I've really been making an effort on lately, is to be a better friend myself. Reach out to the people that matter to me. We're getting there!
17. Let go. Another one that is really an ongoing, life-long thing, but I'm making progress! I'm probably/hopefully going to start seeing a therapist because while I'm made a lot of progress with my anger, I've recently realized that my anxiety just seems to be getting worse. And that's probably not something I can fix on my own, and something I need to address (yet again!) before I have any rugrats.
18. Get my Associate’s Degree in ASL.  Take a course in ASL. I said before that an actual degree is probably out of reach by 30 with everything else I've got going on, but I'd still like to learn a little. 
19. Travel. We're planning on Hawaii in the next couple of years, and I'm getting my passport this winter (since I weirdly have to take a passport photo as part of my professional license application). And we've been back to SoCal a few times!
20. Attend Comic Con/BlizzCon/cons in general. We've attended MTAC, GMX, and Blizzcon. We're going back to Blizzcon this year (though I'll mostly just be hanging at the pool) and our honeymoon will be SDCC! I'm so excited! I'm calling this DONE!
21. Start taking violin/voice lessons. I forgot how many of these require an actual monetary investment. I definitely still want to do it, but damn violins are expensive!
22. Diet and exercise. As I may have mentioned a few times before, Husband and I keep pretty low carb, plus I've done P90X3 once already, and I've started back up recently! Though I'm focusing on yoga and pilates X only because I feel like those will help with my stress and well as my fitness level. I definitely want to keep this up for... well, ever, but I'm calling it DONE!
23. Become a cook. Also DONE! I'm always going to be learning new recipes, but I know my way around the kitchen and am comfortable just throwing things together and making it a meal.
24. Work as an SLP. DONE! Double done come January and I'm doing it with full CCCs instead of a CF.
25. Pay off  more down student loans. Yeah, this was naive. They won't be gone by 30, but I consistently pay (well over) the minimum, so they should be significantly reduced. And we'll see. Maybe we'll come across some random inheritance and I can just pay it off.
26. Take Dave Ramsey’s financial peace course. Turns out Dave is kind of a douche. This has been adjusted to "build up savings" and we're making pretty good progress there!
27. Tattoos! I'm waiting til after the wedding, but it is SO ON. 
28. Gaming. I am playing more video games these days, but I've really discovered a passion for table top gaming. We even have a weekly group! So I'm calling this DONE.
29. Learn how to style myself. DONE! I took an online course about this while unemployed last year and even started a blog feature around it.
30. Cut my hair. Again, so happening after the wedding. It'll either be pixie or, more likely, an undercut!

    

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    Something like this.

New Garden

When the cold snap happened near the beginning of the month, all of our stuff started blooming again. We have TONS of tomatoes and habaneros now. Plus this!

Roses!

Our third rose plant finally bloomed! It's pretty and orange-y! Definitely my favorite.

C(reamer)3PO

Did you know this is a thing?

Apparently it is!

I need to find the others, although this is my favorite flavor!
I want to find the others

Tea

I got a new tea cup! I mean, I did it a while ago, but remember? How I've been ill and not posting? So yeah...

Isn't it pretty?

Just in time for cozy autumn tea adventures!

Here We Are Again

With me apologizing for abandoning you and also suffering from seasonal anxiety/depression! Remember when I talked about this before? I swear I did last year but I can't find it either! The point is, changing light in Fall and Spring can exacerbate/trigger mental health issues. And I'm susceptible! I've been struggling to keep my head above water and just could not handle blogging in addition. The silly/annoying part is that things in my life have actually been going really well.

Didn't stop me from waking up to a panic attack this morning.

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Thank Fall, you dick.

I spent 2 years of my life with a man who constantly told me that nothing about me was good enough and that I was a loser who would never get anywhere, followed by 2 years in grad school under constant pressure to meet deadlines and improve. I think it's safe to say those experiences scarred me.

Right?!

Now I'm at a point in my life where I'm pretty much exactly where I want to be. I've got a good job, in another couple of months I'll have my CCCs, a few months after that I'll have a wedding (for which we officially have a wedding party, venue, photographer, and dress!), my husband is amazing and we're easily financial stable enough that the near future holds the possibility for home ownership and children. I want for nothing.

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And yet...

I still spend most of my time anxious that I should be doing something else, or that what I am doing, I should be doing better. I read an article today about "impostor syndrome," or the difficulty many people (particularly 20 somethings) have with feeling as though they are perpetuating a fraud by achieving success. I'd guess that's part of my problem. Am I really here? Am I really done? I mean, I know there are still more things I want out of life, but at this point there are no barriers to me achieving them beyond the passage of time.

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It's really crippling to constantly be asking this question and not know the answer.

So I'm making an effort to be at peace with the part of my life I'm currently experiencing. I know, isn't it ridiculous I should need to make peace with having a successful career, loving husband, and the world's cutest pets?

Nevertheless, here I am. Daily yoga to relax and focus on myself, plus the exercise in general will do me good, in addition to meditation, lots of hot tea, and cuddles with my family. Take with a variety of television comedies/Marvel films for best results!

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Seriously, who can be sad when looking at that guy?