Gender Roles

You've all figured out that I'm a feminist, right? It would be the worst kept secret of all time if it were a secret. I'm a little lost lately as to how to live out my ideals in my day to day life - specifically if or how to pass them on the the next generation.

You also all know that I'm an SLP. My primary interest is adults with brain injury, but there is almost no way I could work in this field and not have child clients. So, in a shocking turn of events, I do! In particular, I see one little girl who is obsessed with all things "girly." Pink and flowers, princesses and butterflies. 

GIRL!!!!!

Now, with that, I have no problem. People can like what they like and I don't care. But more and more, I'm starting to see that this is something conditioned. Little things she'll say, like "you know how I know those animals are boys? Because they don't have eyelashes!" and "Not dinosaurs, that's boy stuff! We can't use that!" It's really disturbing to me that she has such rigid definitions of what being a girl versus a boy means, and that she places them in such direct opposition. I'd hate for her to grow up believing the world really operates that way, but I'm not sure how much I can really challenge it. After all, she's not my kid. 

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This is all the stuff that makes a girl and it's ONLY FOR GIRLS.

What if I tell this little girl that boys can have pretty eyelashes and girls can do science, and while I don't find anything morally objectionable about any of that, her parents are really upset? I don't want to lose my job or piss of clients or my boss. At the same time, I find it fundamentally, morally wrong that people should be forced into such narrow, confining boxes. Boxes that can stifle them, make them miserably unhappy, and in some cases, even push them to suicide and I feel like I have to speak up. I don't want this amazing, sweet little girl to grow into someone who shames or bullies others because they don't look like what she's been told they're supposed to. Don't I have some responsibility to her in that regard? And maybe her parents wouldn't care. Maybe they even agree with me. I very much get the sense that she believes these things because it's the media she's been exposed to rather than a conscious parenting goal. 

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Yet another consideration: the girl is very young. Our brains naturally categorize the world because it is the most efficient way to store and recall information, especially when we are very young and learning so much. It's entirely possibly that this is something the girl will grow out of with time and experience, as her mind expands and she learns that the world doesn't subscribe to such simple rules as she currently believes. I could be worrying about this needlessly, or worse, by forcing her to confront those over-simplifications now, I might just confuse her as well as upset her/her family. But I don't want to let the opportunity to make a difference slip through my fingers. 

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Any ideas?