If you haven't heard about Robin Williams' apparent suicide by now: 1)Where have you been? 2)I'm sorry to be the one to deliver the news.
For the past couple of days, various media outlets have been overwhelmed by an outpouring of grief about our collective loss of this man. There are countless stories coming out about how he was not just a wonderfully funny performer, but a remarkably generous human being. I'm just a part-time blogger, but as is the case with many of you, Mr. Williams touched my life through his work, and I therefore wanted to add my voice to the choir singing his praises and mourning his death.
Let's talk about his work. There can be no denying that Robin Williams was and incredibly funny man. His films are full of humor that had everyone I know rolling with laughter at some point, if not continuously, when watching him. But what I find more incredible are his dramatic works, films like Good Will Hunting or Dead Poet's Society, (among many others). In films like these, he not only managed to bring a touch of humor to heavy topics, but to pass on some wisdom as well, to touch our hearts and make us laugh while crying. He was gifted in that way.
A great example of his humor and generosity.
I also want to take a moment to address some snarky remarks that I've seen online as a response to his death. It's a common trend I've noticed whenever we as a nation mourn the loss of someone famous, and one I even participated in to a minor degree when I was younger and ignorant. Statements like "thinking about all of those still suffering from depression who don't get any attention because they aren't movie stars."
Ok, first of all, I too hope that some good can come of Robin's passing in the sense that this illness gets more attention and a better understanding in the general public now that it's claimed the life of someone so dearly beloved and well-known. Events like this should draw our attention to people in our own lives who may be suffering. But who does that statement help, really? What are you hoping to accomplish? Is our grief for this star somehow invalid because we didn't know him personally? Millions of people mourned the death of Nelson Mandela; are they wrong to do so just because they never met the man? Or can we agree that because of the impact he had on the world, we are all worse off without him? I am often frustrated with our nation's obsession with celebrity, but typically when I see people worshiping at the altar of "stars" like the Kardashians who are famous for, what exactly, again? Bickering? But Robin Williams was someone, as mentioned above, capable of profound performances that changed our lives, great humor that cheered us, and vast generosity than humbled us. (Plus he was a gamer who named his daughter Zelda!) Mourning his passing is our right, and it does not diminish our ability to relate to those around us who aren't famous. It's also insulting and inconsiderate to his family to imply that this flood of grief and support is undeserved. The world is a darker place as a result of Robin's absence, and there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that and grieving over it.
Finally, let's talk about depression. As I've already mentioned, I really hope that in the wake of Robin's death, we all learn something. First of all, clinical depression is real, it is a disease, and it is not the same thing as feeling depressed. We all have times when we struggle emotionally because of our circumstances, but feeling sad (which we often mislabel as feeling depressed) is not the same thing as living with clinical depression. Clinical depression is not based on circumstances, wealth, success, loved ones, or humor, nor can changing any of those things fix it. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and it is something that should be addressed by a professional. Because we so often refer to normal, passing sadness as "feeling depressed" when we hear that someone actually is depressed in the clinical sense, many often dismiss it because they equate it to their own so-called depression. "Cheer up!" or even "get over it!" is the advice so often dispensed because so few of us understand what depression really is, what causes it, and how it feels. If you think or know someone in your life is suffering from depression, encourage them to seek help as often as necessary until they get it. Listen to them explain it without offering advice or solutions because nothing you can do can fix it. Just be a friend to them, a literal life-line so they hopefully don't ever reach the point where they feel death is the only escape. Learn the warning signs of suicide, find resources in your area that you can direct them to, and don't downplay what they're going through. Too often people refer to suicide as a selfish decision because they don't understand what the person is experiencing. Here is a great article about why that's not true.
I've been there. I've known someone who committed suicide, and in my darker days, it was something I contemplated myself. At the worst moments, it feels like the only possible escape from a world in which you are doing more harm than good, that to continue living would only hurt those around you and yourself. Rationally, we all know that's not true, but depression doesn't leave room for rationality. Get help, please, so when those moments come you are not alone. Talk about it. Talk about depression and suicide. Then maybe we will finally live in a world where this hidden darkness doesn't steal our brightest stars because we refuse to allow it to remain hidden.
(source)
I'll miss you, Genie. I have no words for the sorrow I feel that someone who brought joy to so many others felt so lost and alone. I pray you have peace now. Good bye.
EDIT: Here is another blog post about what depression is, what causes it, and how treatment works that explains things much better than I have. The post is a response to an ignorant and reductionist blogger who proscribed "joy" as a cure, so you'll notice that the authors are addressing it to a specific person. Don't let that deter you from learning something.
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